A column …
Personal thoughts of a sadistic Master
Hello my dear readers,
Every time at the end of a year I take some minutes to reflect what has happened in this actual year. It started quite good with a 5 weeks vacation in Costa Rica ?? in February.
I love the country and I love the people of Costa Rica. Costa Rica is always amazing and Max and me will definitely go back again next year. And one day Max and me will definitely move to Costa Rica to spend the autumn of our life there.
I don’t like the winter season here in north-western Germany. Instead of snow ⛄️ and frost you mostly get rain ☔️ here and even now while I am typing this text we have a grey sky and 7 degrees celsius here. It’s so sick. It’s almost Christmas ? and there should be snow outside. It should be freezing ?.
Beginning March Max and me returned from Costa Rica ??. One week later was my birthday and I turned 50. Wow. 50! I definitely don’t feel like 50. Feel more like in my 30s but it has always been like that. I always surrounded myself with people that were younger than me. Doesn’t matter if it are friends or slaves, I never liked people in my age. The best example is when I think about how my former classmates are. They all got married, got kids, built a house and did all these “adult”-things. And they look so much older than me, even that we are in the same age.
We will see what the next 50 years will bring. Lol ?
April 2019 was full of work and in the mid of May the summer started with temperatures around 20 degrees celsius.
June 2019 was a nice month. Max and I spent an extended weekend in Munich to visit a show from Cirque du Soleil. It was brilliant. Before and after the show we spent endless hours in different gay clubs and we really had a fantastic time there.
July 2019 started very good. On the 12th of July I got a mail from a mulatto slave from Cuba ??. A fantastic friendship with a great slave began, who meanwhile became a very important person in my life and who I hope to meet in summer next year. We first had the plan to meet at the end of this year but it doesn’t really make sense to visit me when it’s winter here in Germany ??. So we skipped the meeting to the next summer and I am really looking forward to meet my mulatto slave Bankole Arere here in Germany.
As you, my dear readers, might know, it is one of my biggest dreams to own one or more nigger slaves and I hope that he will be one of them. Maybe 2020 will bring bring me the permanent nigger slave I dream of since so long. We will see.
On the 15th of July the biggest disaster of 2019 started. My dad went to a hospital ? to have a small operation. Nothing big, something that is done thousand times each day in Germany. He was supposed to be out of the hospital three days later. But during the operation his small intestine was hurt and sadly it wasn’t detected early enough. The next days the liquids of his small intestine started to poison his body and he got weaker and weaker. We decided to move him to another hospital because we had the feeling that the docs at the hospital before didn’t give him the best possible care. In the second hospital they found out what the problem was in just 20 minutes. But they couldn’t help him anymore. The fluids from his small intestine had already poisoned his body too much and at the 23rd of July he passed away. ??
The hero of my life is gone. Absolutely senseless and unnecessary. He was so fit with his 75 years and could have easily lived 10 more years.
On the 5th of August he was buried at the northern-sea as he always wanted it.
On the 10th of August I met with my former 24/7 slave guy4sm. Some of you might think that it’s quite early because my dad just passed away 17 days before but at that point of time I needed distraction and with him I could have that distraction after all the times of sadness and grief.
On the 24th of August I met with a slave from Portugal ??. A was a great weekend and I am happy that we met because meanwhile he became a good friend of mine. Thanks ? “C” for the good times I had with you. And I am looking for more meetings with you.
On the 5th of September I met with a fantastic slave from Berlin who is from polish offspring. He is a really good looking guy and I was hoping to get more from him. We were talking about plans for TPE and at that point of time it all looked very well.
On the 9th of October I started a very intense contact with a boy from Great Britain ??. He is very interested in SM and we had some very intense chats. I was trying to find out what things he would like and after I told him that if he would become my slave I would rename him he was very interested and fascinated. Best regards to you “Achilleus”. Hope to hear from you soon again.
On the 12th of October I met with another slave from Portugal ??.
I spent a fantastic weekend with slave “R” and hope to see him soon again. Thanks “R”, for the fantastic time with you. I enjoyed your company very much.
On the 28th of October I got another horrible message. The husband from Sirina sent me a WhatsApp to inform me that Sirina passed away due to cancer three days before. Some of you might not know who Sirina was. Sirina used to be the first permanent slave I lived with. When we met he was a male slave. A damned good looking male slave. With him I made several unique experiences. He was the first slave who was signed with a special slave tattoo and later on in our relationship he was castrated and then finally he became a complete woman but that’s a different story. You can find a text about slave Rene here on the sadosam website.
So this message was another shock for me. I just dealt with the dead of my father 3 months ago and was thinking I was doing quite ok and then this bomb ? exploded. It made me collapse mentally. At that day I started to do something that I shouldn’t have done. I decided to get a drink ?. Needles to say that it didn’t stay with only one. I ended up drinking almost two bottles of whiskey. And when I am in that condition I feel the need to talk or chat. The problem is just that when I am drunk I like to chat about very extreme things and usually the result of these “drunken nights” is that I scare people away cause I get way too extreme and exactly that happened with the polish boy from Berlin. I totally messed it up and he decided to stop having contact with me. I can understand that. People who don’t really know me can easily get scared when I am in this fucked up condition.
People say things happen for a reason. Yeah, the reason was I was fucking drunk and behaved like an asshole because I was totally out of control. Sorry Phil, I hope you find what you are looking for. You are a great human and deserve to just find the best. I just wish you all the best.
On the 3rd of November slave “C” from Portugal ?? returned and we had a second fantastic weekend.
I enjoyed it even more cause this time we didn’t need to figure out if we would match. We already knew what we liked and started right away with a fantastic session. It was really amazing and this time he let me took pictures and videos which I could use for my JustForFans-website. It was really fantastic.
Exactly one week later, on the 10th of November, I got a message that a very good colleague of mine passed away due to a brain tumour, which could not be operated because it was on a place inside the brain which could not be touched without definitely killing her. She spent the last weeks of her life in a hospice. We all knew it would happen but still it was a shock. So that was the third person who died within 4 months. I am really having enough for the next 20 years now.
On the 23rd of November slave Chris from the Netherlands ?? returned to my plantation. I used to train him some years ago but then decided for several reasons to stop his training. But I am glad that he was begging to be trained again because he made a huge progress in the time that we didn’t meet. He lost weight and got more muscles and I had a fantastic time with him. I am looking forward for more meetings with him.
December 2019 started with some very interesting chats. Am curious if the three persons I am interested in will meet me next year. All three seem to be interesting persons.
I don’t want to finish this article without thanking Max, my beloved husband and the love of my life, for being at my side and supporting me, especially during the last 5 months of this year. I love you baby. ?❤️. You are the best!
And of course I wish all my readers a fantastic Christmas and a happy new year.
Best wishes,
