This article dives into my chaotic journey after running away from home at 13 and ending up in a tough youth home. It was a brutal period, but meeting Kevin offered a crucial lifeline. Through our bond and shared experiences, including a hilariously awkward first sexual encounter, I candidly explore how I discovered I’m gay. Being caught only fueled our next desperate escape plan.
Alright, dudes! 👋 Remember that huge cliffhanger I left you with about me running away when I talked about my childhood? You guys practically hounded me for the story, so here it is. It was a tough, but super important time that totally shaped who I am today.
Freedom Tastes Like a Burger
Imagine this: I’m 13 years old, backpack on, ₹120 stolen from my mom (sorry, Mum! 😬), and that awesome feeling of freedom. That’s how I was sitting on the train to Hamburg. The moment it pulled away, doubts and fears started creeping in. But I was good at pushing them down. At the main station, I had no clue what to do! I only knew the city from shopping trips, so off I went to Galeria Kaufhof.
I wandered through the departments alone, not caring about anything. Most of it bored me, so I headed straight for the sneaker stores. I loved being independent, even if that nagging guilt kept popping up: “What have I done? Was this right? How’s my mom doing?”
But with a burger and a sundae at McDonald’s, all those bad thoughts vanished. That burger tasted like freedom. No rules, no accusations, no arguments… There was an exciting lightness in the air, a feeling that anything was possible.
I walked the streets, searching. Scanning every facade, every piece of graffiti, every group of boys my age. I stopped at a bookstore – yeah, I’ve always been a bookworm – and browsed. I bought a book and wanted to read it right away.
So, off to a park to read, heading towards Millerntor Stadium. I sat on a bench, reading, and that kept the bad thoughts at bay. But then two police officers walked by, and I jumped. Just like that, the bad feelings and guilt came rushing back.
The shock hit me hard. My stomach tied itself in knots; the lightness was gone, replaced by a heavy dread. I couldn’t concentrate anymore, closed the book, and wandered aimlessly through the park. “What if they’re looking for me? Am I a criminal?” And the worst part: “What have I done?” I felt so alone, watching other people laugh, not knowing how to just meet people.
It got darker and colder. I had no idea where to sleep. So I found a bench in the park, used my backpack as a pillow, and tried to sleep. No chance! My mind raced, every sound made me jump. I was freezing, feeling utterly alone. That night was hell. I cursed, cried, and wished I had never run away.
As it slowly got light, I drifted off for a bit. Then – BAM! – I was roughly woken up. Two uniforms stood over me. They took me to the police station. I was so embarrassed, tears streaming down my face as I told them about my mom. Then the call came: I was found, and I was going home. The train ride back was the longest of my life. I knew what was waiting for me.
At home, all hell broke loose. Mom was relieved, furious, and exhausted. We yelled, we cried – pure chaos. The days after weren’t any better. The mood was rock bottom, then came the inevitable conversation with social services. They heard our story, and then came the suggestion: the children’s home. I protested, Mom cried, but it was no use. I ended up there. A completely new world that, at first, felt like the end.
Hell on Earth: My Life in the Home
Alright, guys, here’s the next tough part: my time in that home. It was hell on Earth, no joke. I felt completely out of place from day one. The other boys? Absolute disaster. I couldn’t relate to them at all. They were just smoking and gaming, or totally reckless. And guess what? They also picked on me because I just wanted to read in peace. “Bookworm!” “Nerd!” – that’s how it went all day. I just wanted some quiet, but that wasn’t an option there. And the staff? They just lectured me or made up rules that made no sense. I felt totally misunderstood, like just a number they needed to control.
School? Dude, it was super crappy! Nothing motivated me; I just did the bare minimum. My grades were in the toilet, but I didn’t care. As long as the day passed and I didn’t have to hang out with the others. I just retreated into my own world, hoping this time would pass quickly.
But you know what? There was one bright spot. Just one. His name was Kevin. Blonde, athletic, and half a year older than me, but way more developed because he’d been in homes for over three years. And honestly, without him, I probably wouldn’t have made it through. Kevin and I – we were like two people who just didn’t belong there, but that’s exactly why we found each other. We clicked immediately.
We were so similar, in all that chaos, in that feeling of being out of place. We talked for hours about everything: why we were there, what we wanted to do later, and how crappy everything was right now. We listened to each other, built each other up, and sometimes just sat in silence because that was enough. He was the only one who truly understood me without me having to explain much. Kevin wasn’t just my friend; he was my anchor during that dark time. He made me feel like I wasn’t completely alone, even though it often felt that way otherwise.
When Kev Showed Me Hot Porn and Things Got… Different
Okay, guys, hold on tight, because now it’s about to get real! As I said, Kevin and I were inseparable at the home. And you know, when you’re stuck in such a cramped space, with hardly any privacy, and boredom kicks in, the wildest ideas can pop up. One day, Kev showed me a straight porn on his phone. And honestly, that was wild. Somehow totally unfamiliar, but at the same time, it had a seriously strong appeal. So different, so new, you know?
Naturally, that led to the idea of us experimenting together whenever we could find a corner where no one would see us. It started super easy, like mutually jacking off when we could hide away or lock ourselves in somewhere. We were young; this sexual discovery journey was really exciting, appealing, and most importantly, it was hot!
I remember it like it was yesterday: One day, we were chilling in the woods, just talking. He showed me another new porn on his phone, and at some point, the conversation shifted to him wanting to know what blowing someone was like. Bam! We decided: we had to close that knowledge gap! And since he was the older, “more experienced” one of us, it was clear who had to play the “girl.”
That was the first time I had a dick in my mouth. And even though I can tell you now that the blowjob I gave back then was absolutely terrible – no joke! – it was still a genuinely hot experience. In hindsight, I wasn’t unhappy at all about being the “girl.” And that had nothing to do with wanting to be a girl; it was about the moment I realized: I’m gay! I like guys! 😂 Funny how you discover your sexuality, right? Yeah, that was my first blowie, but believe me, it wasn’t the last.
Those special Kevin moments were pretty much the only positive thing I took from my time in the home. The rest? Pure crap, honestly. All that BS with the other boys who picked on me, school that I didn’t care about, and that constant feeling of being trapped – it was just nauseating.
But the absolute horror came when Mrs. Paulsen caught us. She was one of the supervisors, always strict and with eagle eyes. I can still see it: Kevin and I, we had snuck off somewhere again to be undisturbed. And I was just in the middle of showing him my “qualities as a woman,” as I called it back then, when suddenly the door burst open. There she stood, Mrs. Paulsen, with a look that said it all. You can imagine the shock, right? That was it. That was the moment the world stood still.
Man, guys, after Mrs. Paulsen caught us, that’s when the real trouble started. Both Kev and I got into huge trouble. We had endless talks with the staff, our free time was cut – you know, the whole routine you’d expect when you’ve really messed up in a home. And the worst part: Kev and I weren’t allowed to go off alone together anymore. Not even for a walk without someone watching our every move. They were really on our case.
As if that wasn’t enough, the other boys somehow got wind of it too. And then, as a “dick-sucker,” I was even lower on the totem pole. They bullied me even more and made my life hell. The stress just multiplied, and I felt like I was suffocating in there.
After what felt like an eternity, maybe about a week, Kev and I somehow managed to meet up for a quick chat. We really had to hide to avoid getting caught again. He brought up how I’d once told him I ran away from home. And you know, in all that chaos, in the goddamn confinement of that home, we got this crazy idea: What if we just ran away together? Kev said he knew a guy where we could probably crash for the first few days. Suddenly, that spark of hope was back, that taste of freedom I had felt before.
Yeah, there it is again, the cliffhanger… I know you hate me now. But how it all went down next, I’ll have to tell you another time. One thing I can reassure you about right now, though: My blowjobs today are way better than they were back then. 🙂
