Hello readers, I’m talking to a cute baltimore pup today. Can you tell me Nico, how did you find out about the fetish world and pup play? And what piqued your interest about it back then?
Bark Bark! I began my journey from circuit and rave culture, actually. During the fall of 2018 I befriended DC pups at a circuit party. Over time, they became some of my closest friends. I wasn’t very sure of myself back then, grappling with a conservative boyfriend and self esteem issues (probably linked). Pup headspace allowed freedom. It allowed me to be fearless and be whoever I wanted to be. When I broke up with my ex, I dove right in and haven’t looked back.
That’s quite interesting. Do you see you pup play linked with mental health then?
I would say it was more a gateway. A catalyst. It has provided me with the assurance in myself that I was always missing. Pups always tend to carefree and playful, and the kink scene at large is far more accepting than any scene I’ve been in previously. And from the scene I have been able to pivot back to music circles and project confidence and warmth toward others.
It’s great that you can share those into other circles ? do you also cross them with each other, like wearing hoods to raves etc? Or do you keep it separated? How do you live it?
I never go out without my hood. There’s always a solid presence of pups at concerts and circuit parties in DC. And while a lot of boys don’t understand it, many more are accepting and curious. My pup and human personas are very intertwined.
That’s quite brave and very cool. Have you already “converted” some of these curious into pups as well? ?
In the past year and a half I’ve had at least 3 friends buy hoods, and many more experiment with them as an anti-anxiety/ grounding tool, even though they’re not pups. My Sir even wears one from time to time, when pup decides to flip the script. It’s nice to be able to provide the same welcoming atmosphere to others that I received when starting my journey. The pupil has become the guide, so to speak.
Haha wow. That’s joyful to hear. Now, you seem to live it quite a bit as a lifestyle. But what on the fetish end? What attracts you there?
The dynamics of control. I’ve always been more of an intuitive person. Always the ‘party mom’ when I go out. Now that’s manifested as more of alpha of the pups. Nothing concrete. But being so vulnerable, or else, being able to bend others to my will… with consent, of course. Being in my hood allows me to disregard the preconceived ideas of sex brought about from heteronormative constructs. And beyond that, the playfulness. The ability to just be foolish and free. It’s a kind of high of its own.
What kind of discoveries did the straying from preconceived ideas lead you to so far? Do you have some examples for our readers?
Sex isn’t always about what you want. Not always about getting off. And attraction and stimulation are not always physical or based on arousal. Mental stimulation is very much overlooked in mainstream relationships. Being challenged, physically or in terms of headspace, can provide extreme release emotionally. Boundaries are meant to be stretched, and many things we are taught as kids, such as the structure of a relationship, are not concrete facts. What works for one person may not work for another. Love comes in a broad spectrum.
That’s very much true. It comes in all shapes and sizes. Like a Mr. S / Size medium hood in some cases 😉 Lastly since you say you’ve become a guide, I’d love to ask if you could tell some of the readers who’d like to try out pup play and kink once some tips for their first time. Do you have any words for them?
Every pup is different. Everyone’s experience is different. Just do what feels right. Don’t think twice about asking questions from others. And don’t be afraid to visit your nearest leather bar. The scene is very friendly, if you go in with a positive and open mind. Behind a hood, no one knows who you are. Take the chance to be yourself.
