He’ll ask about your homework, then tell you to diaper up. Meet Sir Erik, the head of a thriving leather family. In this powerful interview, he gets real about the patience required to train newbies, the profound intimacy of long-term D/s relationships, and why trust is the key to unlocking a boy’s deepest submission.

Sir Erik 1975 | 6’3″ | 240 lbs Northern Virginia (U.S.) Sir Erik on Tumblr

.He trusted me to push him as far as I wanted to take him, and I trusted him that this was truly what he desired to be.

se7en: Hello everyone, today we are talking to a Sir many will probably be jealous of as soon as they read the next sentence. Sir Erik, you are training several boys at the moment and have kind of a fetish family. How is that for you, and how did and do you manage that?

Sir Erik: Thank you pup Seven, pleasure to be speaking with you today.

Yes I have a wonderful leather family. I’m married to Rook, we’ve been together for 15 years. Boy Neville is collared to me, boy Colt is a regular and loyal boy for me, he’s been with for three years now, and I am the guardian to boy Blake. And least I forget I have a number of boys I am fortunate to be friends with and play with from time to time.

Building up this family has been quite the process. I truly believe in the value of the relationship. The boys who serve me are wonderful, in and out of the play room. It takes a lot of time to build. I dare say my boys would argue a big part of our success has to do with how much I care about my boys. I take an active interest not only in their kink life but also their regular life.

Just as an example, its not uncommon for me to ask boy Blake if he’s finished his homework, and in the next sentence, ask if he wants to diaper up for the night.

Haha to be honest, that sounds like it comes straight out of a abdl/daddy-son fantasy. That would be quite special for many 😉 Do you think you also have such traits?

LOL I don’t know about being an ABDL daddy, that may tarnish my reputation for being a big mean scary leather Sir. 😉

Jokes aside, I do think the kink and the non-kink aspects of our lives should go hand in hand. When I have boys over for play, sure we will have a great time in the play room, sweat, lube, and cum kind of go all over the place. When the play is over though, it is important to me to bring the boys back to being human. We will cuddle on the bed until they are back from sub-space, then make and have dinner together. That aspect of sitting down together not only reinforces aftercare but also reinforces our role as a leather family.

And in case anyone is wondering, yes, all my boys know how to properly prepare a table setting, open and serve wine, and display all appropraite table manners.

But from the sound of it the one cooking is still you? 😉 But you’re right yes, bdsm is about much more than just the hot action, and the bond you create with it is very strong. And also gives you many special moments together, wouldn’t you agree?

Thankfully I love to cook, and my boys love to enjoy my cooking. I once joked with a pup friend of mine, “you came for the bondage, you stayed for the gourmet meals.”

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p style=”padding-left: 30px;”>To answer your question, yes, absolutely, BDSM is much more than just sex. In the play room I have had boys discover powerful submissive extremes. From boys who crave humiliation, boys who worship leather and boots, and boys who desire a hard core paddling that takes them to tears. These scenes are truly special. Not just because of the scene itself, but because we built up the trust and honestly between us to allow the scene to happen. And this just recirculates back into the relationship.
We become closer, as Sir and boy in all aspects of our relationship, because we have traveled to their submissive extremes together and know we have the intimacy to do so safely.

That sounds very intimate indeed. What are some of those moments you reached those levels, if I may ask that question?

Let me share one such scene that I remember distinctly. I need to keep the boy’s name off of it though to protect his privacy and will require some background for context.

This particular boy I started training as a newbie. When I train a newbie I first seek to safely introduce him to BDSM, teach him about limits, safe words, mutual respect, etc. I have no intentions beyond this goal. But with this boy though our relationship just started growing, slowly, and organically. When you work with a newbie you have to double check everything with them and keep them safe. “Am I spanking you too hard?” “Is the gag too tight?” Even after nine months I saw I was holding back on him because I was obligated to protect him. This despite the fact he was telling me I could push him harder and harder in the play room.

As his submissive leather boy side developed in the play room our relationship outside the play room developed too. We began to care for each other greatly.

Then one day it happened. I woke up horny (as Sirs do) got out a few toys, blindfolded him, gagged, him, tied him down to the bed, and then just had my way with him. It was intense, it was primal, it was incredible. In the back of my mind sure I was watching for clues I was going to far. I also had a huge degree of trust with this boy and knew if I did go to far he knew how to safeword out. That wasn’t the case though, instead he panted, and grunted, and egged me on. He loved every minute of being helpless and used; he gave himself to me for my pleasure. When it was over, we laid on the bed together, exhausted. In that moment I realized our relationship had changed for the better. He trusted me to push him as far as I wanted to take him, and I trusted him that this was truly what he desired to be.

After much aftercare, we got out of bed, went down stairs and he made me my morning coffee. A simple act perhaps, but I knew with that coffee, he was now truly “my boy.”

What would you recommend other dominants who are trying to introduce a newbie into the world of bdsm? And what would you say to the newbie?

Great question. Training newbie subs is a subject I take seriously. Not many doms, justifiably I should add, enjoy training newbies because of the level of patience required. The reward for me though is watching this newbie grow from nothing and blossom into a full fledged pup or leather boy.

I think the most important thing to understand for a dom training a newbie, is that the sub has a huge contradiction going on inside of his head, he is equal parts excited to be trying BDSM and scared out of his mind of what might happen. To get past this contradiction we must give the sub an environment they feel safe in. Start small, go slow, provide constant positive feedback, and most importantly always be honest with them. Be prepared to put away your own personal desires of being dominate and instead focus on being a teacher. Training a newbie sub isn’t about you, its about them. Many of the core ideas we know by heart, such as limits and safe words, the newbie will have no idea what they are, nor will he know what aspects of BDSM he truly likes. And when you do find that sub who you have nurtured and ready to submit for the first time, please, please, please play at their skill level, not yours. Trust me, they will grow quickly once they have their first experience.

And to the newbie sub who is just getting started, my best advice I can give you is, find a dom who truly respects you and you feel comfortable with. Submission is a gift, give yours to someone who deserves it.